Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Gay Sardar

"That's so gay,"I have heard this sentence many times before, but quite a lot in the last week which has been extremely good. The interesting thing is the way it is being used in conversational English.
Many youngsters in the US use one of the most controversial words, Gay, as noun or an adjective but in different way. I noticed some of these guys using it as frequently as the other two most spoken words in US-Thank you and Fuck you. I think, as gays get more rights, probably, the use of the word gay would rank higher.
The very sights of two guys, who may be brothers, sleeping together activate the gay area of this young guy's brain. I am sure he would barely skip the chance to make some comment using the word 'gay.' As far as I know, the word gay as noun also means happiness. I came across an interesting use of it as an adjective. For example, one of my friends (whom I know from the last 7 days) was taking to his friend on phone. He was quite upset with him over some matter and said him that he (his friend) was having 'gay attitude.' It seems anything which sounds weird is characterized as gay.

Similarly, the word 'Sardar' is used in Indian community to describe a particular behavior. Actually, sardar is the noun used for Sikh males, who are considered as brave persons. However, our GenNext has gone a little far and with time the word sardar now has different meanings in conversational language. It has been dragged outside the boundaries of oxford and Cambridge. Nowadays, it is used to describe any silly act or stupid person. It is said that the highest population of sardars is found in jokes rather than their home land Punjab. Being a sardar I have learnt how to laugh at myself. For non-Punjabis the very introduction of any joke with sardar in it makes them laugh out loud. Any failed act may prove you to be a sardar. Any fickle joke means you are sardar. Making tea in pressure cooker means sardaron wale kaam. Always singing Punjabi songs in antakshri means hardcore sardar. In nutshell, any weird act can prove you to be a sardar or a relative of sardar.
So, what is common between a sardar in India and a gay? Well, sardar's fought against oppression, for freedom of religion and some other kinds of freedoms too. They came into existence from within the society and they created their own space by struggle and sacrifice. Similarly, in the 21 century, gays are also trying to create their space in the society. They are also fighting for their gay genes to be acceptable in the world. Now the point is that even if they get their constitutional rights in next 10-15 years, the word gay won't be used in its actual meaning. Like sardar, it will be used to describe any weird act in the world which has not been done before. Few more years then the dumbest thing would be described by the word 'Gay Sardar' which will not one bring a smile on others face but remind us that they have always contributed to the society.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What is Arranged-Love Marriage?

In India, in general if you are a girl between 20-25yrs with a college degree,then it is the ripe age to get married,or in case, you are modern (making use of your college degree, I mean earning) then you can buy more time. Similarly for guys, but they have to have some job along with above things.
Traditionally, before any marriage,the parents from both sides would inquire about each other's families through middle man and then sign the deal. There would be very little scope for the guy and the gal to know about each other. That's what is called arranged marriage. You know about your partner after you are married. I know many successful marriages happened this way.
But now at 24, it's my turn, I didn't realize it untill one of my friends got her Mr. Right though a Indian matrimonial websites. I was aware of such sites before, but I never showed interest in understanding their work until a close friend of mine found her finance.
Usually, it would be appalling to some of you, who believe in love or love at first sight. But thinking logically, I found that the probability of finding your love in the young section, between 20yrs -29yrs, of 3billion women population is very bleak. For an open minded Indian (that the term if you are peso-modern/educated)to find a his/her match in his/her caste becomes next to impossible.I came up with a number,200, that the number of girls I interacted in my life who were of same age as I was. Assume 10,000 gals to be the sample space of my true love, the p=.02 which also means that I need to get in touch with rest 9800 women before I turn 30.
It is not about defending or refuting anything about arranged marriage or love marriage but trying to understand how to make the best decision which may not be the right decision.
One of the things I found is that some open-minded parents are giving some space to their children in deciding their life partners. Based on the above calculated probability, it is very difficult for an average Indian guy to find a date in a country where 'SEX' is a taboo(I am not taking about you, who has girlfriend/boyfriend). Some may disagree with it but there is a general mentality in Indian males that a girlfriend can not be a wife.

The new concept is now ARRANGE LOVE. Parents, who have already made a decision on the girl,introduce their son to her in informal ways that neither the gal nor the boy knows about the plan. They interact for some time (months or years) and once they become comfortable with each other, the talk of marriage pops up on the dinner table.
The guy, who is more comfortable with someone he knows, has more probability of choosing her than the unknown ones.

So, this is how arranged love marriage works.

Why? Because we are a developing nation and we are also developing our culture.